Last night I dreamed about you again. I was searching for you while I was trying to find myself.

I didn’t find you and … my soul remained lost in mist. Where are you? Where did you go? I don't understand it all.

What am I to do without you?

Where can I turn when my heart is full?

Nowhere to go and nowhere to lean onto.

I lost my companion, my soulmate, my love! The world doesn't care and why should they? They have their own lives and worries.

Sentiments of loss and the effort to make sense of life without love; gone forever.

I am lying in bed. Sometimes I cry and try to get it all out. I am trying to climb the hill of hope to find a destination. Then I realize that I don’t know the destination; I don’t know my purpose and my goals are gone.

I get told to use my art to find healing and give my time to causes to find purpose. “Go into the world and find new friends”, they encourage me. Nobody knows how hard that is. Nobody.

Christina